I am made of Awesome

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:33:12 GMT

Syrup is difficult to get out of suits!

That is all. For now.

Be on the lookout for a bigger (Yeaaayah), better, faster, stronger blog entry soon!

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:13:07 GMT

Top Three Reasons I Love New York City:

3. Because wherever you were born, you are a New Yorker. …Unless you live so uptown that you really live in Jersey.

2. Two words. “Massage Parlor” Yeaaaah.

1. 2am in the morning, and I was in bed. But I sure wasn’t sleeping!

Miss me? Of course you did. Good ol’ Uncle Barney had to go back to his hometown for a little bit, but I come bearing gifts! Like...MYSELF.

You’re welcome, Canada.

Strikeouts deleted

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:28:39 GMT

Who here knows how to ski? Who wants to try!

Ianto, Owen! We have to get people together now! Billy! Remus Lupin, you're coming with! Alan? What do you say?

We need to get on this, people! The snow will melt soon!

SNOWSUIT UP.

Filtered to Red

~~How are you?~~

~~I miss-~~

Hey! Haven't heard from you.

/Filtered to Red

Filtered to Robin

~~I've been a horrible friend~~

You snowsuiting it up with us?

Video dedication

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:36:01 GMT

Cabbies are awesome.

Private -- Filtered to Ianto

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:16:14 GMT

Dude. AWESOME.

Ahem. That said, I've got your Post-It.

Regular Blog Post -- Filtered to Owen Harper

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:35:08 GMT

Bro.

Think we can arrange a kidnapping of Billy?

A Video Blog Post -- Filtered to Kaylee Frye

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:32:11 GMT

[[The anonymous entry is posted in an unknown blog. The camera switches on to reveal "Billy," sitting on the same sofa as last time. He's staring at the camera blankly, then takes a deep breath.]]

"Emotions are something that I can't afford."

[[His voice is quiet. And hesitant. He looks down at his lap, a wry smile playing on his features briefly. The kind that straddles the line between smiling and grimacing.]]

"It's not exactly like they've done me any good."

[[He looks up, but his gaze is far off. Like he's remembering precisely how emotions had wronged him. There's a small shake of his head.]]

"When something goes wrong in one of my plans, I learn from it. I go back to the drawing board. And I get better."

[["Billy" falls quiet, fidgeting slightly..nervously. He's looking anywhere but the camera. Then, finally, he looks up at the camera.]]

"I want to go back to the drawing board. I just don't know how."

[[He stares again for a second, and then nods once before reaching over to turn it off.]]

Filtered Private to Red

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:30:33 GMT

It's precious that you're keeping hold of my clothes. They should be like Hallmark keepsakes. A piece of Barney for the holidays.

Private Blog Post

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 23:51:03 GMT

It was almost worth it to lose my suit.

..Almost.

Bitch.

I kind of like her.

3. Higher Learning

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 00:01:39 GMT

While at the coffee shop the other day, I was ~~oogling some college girls~~ waiting for my drink and overheard a few of the lovely co-eds bemoan that it was finals week. Ahh college. The schoolwork, the tests, the cheerleaders.

I went to Cornell University and got a degree in Business, of course. But what people don’t know is that good ol’ Barney here very nearly became a professor! Yes, dear readers, Barnaby Stinson is just as concerned for the education of our young folk as the next citizen. Or, non-citizen, as many of us are here in Canada. Probably illegally.

I can hear you asking right now. “Barney! What kind of classes could you possibly teach that would match your brilliance and AWESOMENESS?” In fact, I got an email about it. I will transcribe it here –

Barney,

Though I have been out of school for many years, I would go back in a heartbeat if I knew you were teaching a course. Your wisdom and intellect is just what some of us lamer folk need to really get ahead in life. If you ever do teach, I beg you to consider me as your pupil.

Wanting Higher Learning in New York,
Ted Mosby Architect.

Sorry, Ted. I hate to disappoint you, but I can’t teach any classes this semester. However! Look for these courses coming to a university near you in the future!

History 1031: Halloween Costumes and its Evolution into Miniskirts and Tight Tops
Sociology 400: Cultural Impressions (or Suit Up, Man)
Biological Sciences 101: Anatomy (with Hands-On Labs)
Mathematics 101: You +Me = HOT

Phone Calls from Canada

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 19:24:31 GMT

To the Gang in New York
Heey! Ted! Yeah man. This place is awesome. -Pause- Sha! Right! -Laughter- Yeah. -Pause- Tell everyone Happy Thanksgiving. I miss you, bro. You should come down!

Robin should go to the mall here. Hah. Yeah! -More laughter- Okay man. You too. I'll see you.

James, Tom, and Bro-in-Training!

Tom! Happy holidays man! How's my Little Dude doing? Happy Thanksgiving to you guys. -Pause. Laughing-. Pft. Please.

Yeah. You guys too. Nonono! Wait! Okay okay. -Pause. Grin- Jaaaaames! What up, bro? Canada is...wait for it! Awesome! Awesome, my man. You dudes should come visit. I think I'm going to stay for a while. -Pause- Funny enough, not a lot of Canadians in this town. None, actually! -Pause- I know! No one knows Robin Sparkles! I intend to spread the love.

When you come to visit, suit up! Make sure Little Dude is suited up! -Pause- They do not! From Milan? They make them that small! Oh I bet he looks so cute! -Cooing- Okay, yeah. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Bye, bro.

Private to Billy

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 02:10:45 GMT

Private to Billy

10pm Wednesday! 42 Butcher Street. I'll get you.

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:01:26 GMT

This googlism thing is AWESOME.

Barney is awesome
Barney is wait for it
Barney is legend
Barney is dary
Barney is smooth
Barney is a bro
Barney is a broda
Barney is suited up.

I know, I know. How on Earth could it know, right? My friends...proof.

T.

2. Happy Birthday!

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 01:56:54 GMT

Today is my birthday! Presents can be left at the hotel here in town, Room 340.

Tommorow is Owen's birthday! We both want a party. Anyone have a place big enough willing to hold it?

....

Um. Spike. [deleted] I never got to thank you..[end deleted] Alright man?

PS Earthquakes are lame!

1. Canadians know what it's a-boot

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 02:24:06 GMT

Apparently, my flight to Vancouver has been cancelled. So the company put me up in this place. Small town. Cozy. Probably lots of hometown girls just wanting a big city man.

Yes, my friends, I..Barney Stinson..have gone quasi-international. I'm in Canada right now, but that's no reason for you in the states to forget to suit up! Best foot forward at every opportunity! Because it's that foot that's going to be holding the weight of that hot little number you got. Yeah.

Now. While I'm away from the good ol' US, I can elucidate upon more worldly issues. Every day, I get e-mails asking me…”Barney, how are you so damn well cultured?”

The answer, my friends, is simple. Sleep with international girls.

Girls want to think you’re listening to them. And girls want to be impressed. What better way to both impress and make them think you’re listening than to speak to an international girl in her own native tongue? So, if I set my sights on a Japanese woman, I learn Japanese. Thus I can speak to said girl [forthwith known as Wasabi, because Japanese women are HOT] in her language. This proves to Wasabi that I am not only a fine specimen of American breeding, but also care about interglobal relations.

And trust me, I care about interglobal relations. If you know what I mean.

So, dear Disciples of the Bro Code, always remember to pick up another language. Or five. You never know where the next hot chick is from.

Oh. To you Canadian viewers of this blog. Ever hear of Robin Sparkles? I know her. Yeah.